Wow, six months!

 

image from freepik.com

"Wow" indeed!  I can hardly believe that it's been six months since my last post.  I confess that I was feeling pretty low back in January and was really just "going through the motions" every day.  Mentally, I've been in that place before so I did recognise the signs ~ which I think in itself is a step forward.  I took the decision to just try to ride it out rather than going to my GP to ask for a renewed prescription of anti-depressant medication.  I'm not saying that it's wrong to take medication, far from it as I was in fact on anti-depressants for a number of years.  I simply wanted to at least give myself the opportunity of working through my thoughts and feelings under my own steam, and in my own time, without any additional help.  I was fully prepared to go down the medication route if I continued to struggle, or if I felt myself slipping into a darker place.

 Thankfully, this time round I have been able to work through it on my own.  It was a good three months or so before I felt that I had properly turned the corner, and probably another six or eight weeks from there before I was feeling more or less back to normal.....or what passes as "normal" for me, at any rate 😉  I've spent the last month or so debating on whether to resume posting or simply shut the blog down.  In the end I decided that I would carry on with the blog, but not put any pressure on myself with posting.

I am well aware that I have a somewhat "all or nothing" character and I've come to the conclusion that inside this messy, chaotic, mind-like-a-butterfly personality of mine there may well be a perfectionist thinking she needs to get out!  Deep down I think I have a belief that if I can't do something "perfectly" or as well as others seem to do, then I shouldn't even try to do anything as I'll never be "good enough".  It's pretty hard to get over this to be honest (I'm now 60 and still struggling with these feelings), but I am nevertheless trying to just do my best rather than worry about what others may (or as is more likely, may not!) think about my efforts.

So Sam and Beverly turned 30 back in January and I was 60 last month and life as I know it.....just carried on as normal 😉  Daft, really, to get worked up about these things isn't it?  I feel no different now that I'm 60 than I did before my birthday but I have got an added bonus in the form of a bus pass LOL  Hopefully the Covid situation will calm down again soon (we've had a spike in numbers up here since more restrictions were lifted) so I can start to make good use of it.

We've been working out in the garden again, so I shall have quite a few photos to share once I've sorted through them.  It's definitely helped my mental health to be out in the fresh air and sunshine.  It's not been sunny every day, of course, but enough nevertheless to give both Adrian and I a decent tan!  And we've been able to chat with the folk passing by which is always lovely.  Everyone is so interested in what we've been doing with the garden; I think they are as pleased to see it looking nice as we are.

As for my other interests, well, they've been on the back-burner these past few months as I've just not had the enthusiasm to do anything.  I'm finding, though, that my mind is once again turning towards getting stuck into some crochet.  I've also been thinking about my little dolls' house world and I have quite a few little ideas that I shall make a start on as the weather gets less amenable to gardening!

So that's how things stand at the moment.  I can't promise to suddenly turn into a prolific blogger but hopefully I'll get back in the swing of posting fairly regularly over the next few months 😊